Addiction and Recovery

by Cathy Arscott

I am an alcoholic and addict.

I now, one day at a time, have 28 years of sobriety.

My addiction was messy. 

I created a lot of mistrust and hurt too many people, including my family.

I had an issue with addiction by the time I was 17 years old.

And all the things I said I would never do or say….I did.

I had issues with self-worth, self-love and self-esteem.

I felt that if people treated me better I would not have entered the throes of addiction.

I tried to blame my mistakes on everyone else. 

Finally, when I was losing connection with those that were close to me, I realized…I had a MAJOR problem with alcohol and drugs. 

People were finally telling me that they no longer wanted to be around me while I was under the influence. 

Guilt, remorse, and self-loathing was incredibly de-rehabilitating to me….and I realized after my last 4 day bender that I needed help or die. 

I didn't want to die. 

I entered detox, rehab and pounded AA meetings daily, sometimes twice a day, to begin my journey to recovery. 

Those people who loved me back to health, saved my life in so many ways.

Addiction is a disease. Not many people believe or accept that, but it is.

Saying it is a disease does not take away the consequences I had to face during active addiction and recovery.

I know there are many people suffering from addiction and don't know what to do.

The feeling of being scared to have to go through possible and enter recovery can be daunting.

Recovery is possible for anyone. No matter how old we are or how long we have been using. 

It is recognizing that there is a problem that begins the first step into recovery. 

So many people are willing to help anyone who wants to recover.

We just have to reach out and grab the hands that are there to help us.

I pray for the person in active addiction and also for the people who love a person that is struggling.

Anyone that is struggling, please, reach out for help.

Once you do that and admit you have no control with your drug of choice, then the chains are released and the baggage can be dropped. 

It will take time, but we put a lot of time into our addiction as well. 

It will depend where you want to put that time. 

I am passionate about this subject, as well as mental illness. 

You just never know who may be struggling. 

To RECOVER is to create a life in which NUMBNESS is no longer needed for survival. 

And may we never go back to the dark places we fought so hard to get out of. 

God Bless.