by Anita Benedict
“We are so lucky to have you.” Just a few words to some, but on a day when things seem a bit dark and you are unsure of where life is going, those words can lift the spirit.
I was in a dark place a few years ago. My creative spark had dimmed and was barely surviving. I rarely heard good things about me because I more than likely didn’t do anything to deserve them. I was in survival mode. I let off community involvement, I let go of friendships and I let the negativity take over. It wasn’t Covid isolation, I actually embraced that at the time.
At work I could turn on the “customer service” persona, but it came at a cost. I was exhausted at the end of a day. The Covid mask was a blessing some days; I didn’t have to smile. I had one “rant friend” who helped in the darkest days. I tried medication, but it only caused pain in my body, I did not know anti-depressants could do that. It is all about finding the right one, but that is hard to do when you hate taking meds.
One Sunday during that same, my “rant friend” told me I might like the new Minister at our church. Maybe she was getting tired of the same rant on repeat. I had not been involved for a few years. but I dragged another friend along to see if she was right and it was interesting. I wasn’t sure if I did like him; he was lively and friendly but I was cautious.
When I left church that day, an eagle flew over my head. Whenever I see one, I always say thank you. While they are plentiful, we don’t always see them. I am a firm believer that they are special birds and as my daughter said when she was four, “They are messengers of God.” So, I decided I would give church another try.
While “church” is not for everyone, that is ok. I found what I needed there. Don’t think we are a stick up your *rse bunch. We laugh, have a ministry of humour, and the music is a mix of fun and sacred. We are a family who are not perfect, but we find comfort in being a part of something, at least once a week.
I can tell you this church thing has allowed me to explore my creative side again. I did find the right medication to help with the bad days, but I was already on my way before that. I enjoy being a part of the service, being a part of making change in how we view faith and yes, we acknowledge the damage the church was complicit in. We try to be welcoming, especially with so many churches closing. If you should attend and not feeling the warm and fuzzy, come find me, the loud one up by the piano.
I especially enjoy the music, inspiring others to help choose somewhat modern songs and we sing with gusto. I love seeing those who rarely did solos face their fears and do it. I love encouraging people to find their spark as well. And I can tell you, we are a small but mighty bunch and with some songs it sounds like a full professional choir not just 6 or 7 people. Even when we (usually I) mess up, we find laughter not criticism.
Last week I wrote about “saving souls” but it was really just about asking questions, digging deeper into the situation, reading between the lines, forming an educated response not a knee-jerk what-the-majority-is-saying reaction. My “soul” was saved by a few good people who helped fan the spark of creativity and allowed and encouraged me to use my gifts. So, you see, it is I who am lucky to have them.
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