by Angela Sanford
I want to tell you three short stories that sum up my beliefs as mom –
The First Born - who hated school, I remember crying at Parent Teacher when he was in elementary thinking “How can a teacher’s kid hate school?” He taught me lots about being a mom, about unconditional support. When he graduated high school he immediately entered the work force and I couldn’t have been more proud. His high school journey reminds me of mine in some ways – not designed for his learning style.
Our Second Son – determined and a goal setter from a very early age. Nothing scared me more than his entering the Armed Forces and though his duty was short lived, by his choice, I learned fear firsthand and not the kind that involves the Boogeyman after dark. Upon his resignation he explored various options, worked for a year then went to university. He learned to adapt and to advocate for himself. In the end, his earned his success and entered the business world while doing a job that he loves and excels in.
And most of you know our baby…. Some of you know only know the highlights of his success and achievements while others know more the adversity he faced to accomplish what he has. Through the adversity we supported him as best we could, but there were times we had to step aside and just watch the events unfold, knowing we had no control.
This is not to brag about my own adults (they are not kids any more even if they’ll always be my babies) but to highlight my firm beliefs about life and the lessons we tried to impart upon our sons:
Keep the doors open – even when the doors start to close – don’t shut them firmly, you never know where that door will lead and who is on the other side to help you through it. I hope if you ever asked my boys for what advice their mother gave them this is the phrase they recall the most!
Yes is the key word to life – say yes whenever you can. Keep “no” available and don’t be afraid to use it when you need to but allow things to unfold for you and around you fluidly and organically. When opportunity comes your way, say “yes.” When someone needs you, say “yes.” And, more importantly, when you need support and it’s offered, say “yes.”
Do things with purpose and intent. Set your goals high and determine what you need to do to achieve them. Reflect on how you’re doing along the way and even when changing direction, make it purposeful.
These are valuable lessons that will bring growth and success to your life – perhaps the tangible success that people desire – like money, but more importantly the personal success that many forget. Each of you have demonstrated your by becoming high school graduates but make sure you recognize those successes for yourself.
Parents – a short message for you - the worry we shared for our babies has only intensified with each year that goes by. Be prepared – this may be one big door opening but there are MANY to come and with each door you’ll be on edge even just a little bit more (picture my arms extending broadly), but you’ve got this!
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